Hey. Where did my weekend go?

I swear I just blinked and it went from Friday to Sunday evening. Time to set the trash on the curb. Time to pack a lunch again. Time to pick up the last few remainders from the weekend.

Its Monday. Again.

I read a quote that said Monday's are a terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.

So to brighten your day, here are some fun things to start your workweek:

DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"

ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will 'remove' all the germs.

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When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. ~ Marquis de la Grange

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. ~ Redd Foxx

When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business. ~ Lenny Bruce

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. ~ Mark Russell




Have a great week!